With unsteady fingers I make these keystrokes on day 31 of ‘COVID quarantine’. I am safely tucked away in my house that has a garden, a small swimming pool (more like a pond), I have wife and kids safe and well. I am surrounded by the country and can quite happily walk for 10 km without seeing another human. I have a lot of food. I have a lot of alcohol, Netflix, PlayStation and company. Yet I feel the need to complain! I feel like I can’t wait for this ‘COVID quarantine’ hell to be over! I mean what the actual flip…
‘SLAP!’ (The sound of me virtually slapping myself into reality)
Right. So, firstly everyone needs to man (or woman) up. There is always someone out there who has it worse than you. In my case (and I expect yours) a lot of people have it worse. It has taken me a while to gather my thoughts on what’s going on in the world and I wasn't sure how it was relevant to Surf Bunker. I mean, how can people be thinking about surfing at a time like this??? Right?
To the twats that are still surfing
Firstly, fuck off. Secondly, fuck off again and thirdly, well... you get the idea.
If you live in a country that has told you or even ‘recommended’ that you don’t surf. Just don’t. It’s super simple, all you do is this.
1- Listen to what people are telling you
2 - Do it.
There, I think that is as simple as I could make it.
I have heard all the excuses, all the backchat with people trying to validate getting in the water. Why it’s okay for ‘them’. Allow me to tackle those arguments in a moment but first a quick shout out to those who are one step worse than those who are still surfing against advice.
Yes, you guessed it. I am talking to you twats who are surfing and then posting pics of it on social media. I can only think you are the sort of person that has to be run over by a car to understand that the road is dangerous? I will say it slowly for you.
1- It IS okay to (under non quarantine times) to go surfing and say it was ‘awesome earlier’ or ‘you should have been here yesterday’. To say the surf was great at sun-up even if it was shit. Because you made the effort to get up and the other lazy twats didn’t, so (as Bobby Brown said) it’s your prerogative.
2 – It IS NOT okay, in a time when people are not allowed and should not be surfing, to post a picture of your flaccid bell-end type self on the beach surfing and making others want to do the same. It’s not cool, it’s worse than not cool. If you want to be a selfish twat and cause us all to have to be locked in with all the comforts of home/people we love/PlayStation/Netflix/TV/and loads of free time to do what we want, then at least do it under the radar! Don’t rub our faces in it.
It’s okay for ME to surf!!
No, it’s fucking not.
Here are some of the reasons I have read/seen/heard :
- “I am a local.”
Answer – No, you are just a twat, plenty of other locals are doing the right thing and not going in the water.
- “There is no one in the lineup. So it’s like social distancing and it’s okay.”
Answer – Maybe you can remain at a safe distance from everyone but what happens when other people who think ‘like you’ can see you surfing. Hmmm, I wonder if they might think, yep there is room for another, and another and another. Knowing surfers normal habits would you say they would look at a lineup and say mmmm, nope there are too many people out there. I won’t go in.
If two or three others paddled out, would you think that was too many and paddle in leaving the waves to them? Nope.
We (as surfers) argue about priority, localism and who has 'right of way' in normal times. We have proven that we cannot govern ourselves as a sect so why oh why are things any different now.
- “But I can walk to the surf from my house.”
Answer – Good for you, that makes no fucking difference at all to anything. Read above.
- “It’s just the flu, I am willing to take the risk. I’ll be okay.”
Answer – No, it’s not just the flu. It might be part of the same ‘family’ as the flu but that's it. Saying COVID_19 is like ‘the flu’ is like saying Audis are the same as Skodas. Technically some of the cars share the same parts and chassis but they are not the same. Not at all.
Just because YOU are in the prime of your life and should be able to fend COVID off after a couple of weeks in your bed, doesn't mean it is the same for everyone else. The dangerous thing about this pandemic is not what it does to YOU. The real weapon in its toolbelt is the ease of contamination. e.g. how easy it is to pass it on to someone who would not be able to fight it off. The elderly, the sick, kids who have respiratory illnesses or have had, like pneumonia for example.
Just don’t surf. Show the world that we are not the selfish reefer smoking losers we are so often portrayed as. One thing is for sure, if we just follow the rules, WE WILL SURF AGAIN.